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Beware of the Package

4/27/2016

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Last week I was speaking with a woman about the death of her husband.  She told me that she thought the funeral home industry was a racket because they made her pay for a package deal at the funeral home to get her husband cremated.  This package had services that she did not want and did not use.  She did not know what to do but to follow what the funeral home had told her and pay for things she did not want or use.  I informed her that in no way was she ever obligated to pay a package deal at a funeral home.  She had the right to pay only for the services she wanted to use.  We all have this right living in the US to pay only for the services and goods that we use at the funeral home.
 
I was not at that sales meeting and I do not know what was said.  What I do know is that these meetings are sales meetings.  In the final analysis, meetings with a funeral director end up as a sales meeting mostly because this is how the funeral home stays in business.  She felt she had no other recourse in dealing with the funeral home but to purchase the package and get her husband’s body cremated.  What she could have done, and what I would tell anyone to do is to shop around.  Never do business with a funeral home that does not feel right to you.  We all know what it feels like to be in a sales meeting and feel the pressure to buy.  Some of us might acquiesce to sales pressure more easily in mourning, and that is why we have the federal law, the funeral rule.
 
In this whole thing lies the problem of the package.  These package deals are set up to be easy for consumers to purchase.  They are what the funeral home wants us to see as typical services and goods they can provide for us in our “time of need”.  These packages become the easy way for those in grief to resolve the question of what to do now that the person they love has died and the body must be cared for.  These packages do not typically include services that a family might want if they want a simple no frills, perhaps even a home funeral. If we wish to have a simple visitation and keep our bodies natural, we need to find a sympathetic funeral director who can help.  They are there, but we have to look.  Looking and researching at the time of need is often so difficult to do, and that is why funeral homes have package deals.
 
In the end, do not feel that the package deal offered by a funeral home is ever the only way to go.  If you do not use a service or a product, you do not have to pay for it.  That is the law.  Research local service providers in your area so that you know who you will want hired to care for your body and those you love when the time come. 


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A Meditation for Earth Day

4/20/2016

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This Friday is Earth Day.  Let us take time this week to consider how we live on this earth.  Let us consider that we are part of nature and that we too belong here.  Let us consider what this means to us in our daily lives. Sometimes we might miss the mark and may not live in this earth in the kindest of ways.  Perhaps we live in ways that pollute the earth, and our fellow creatures.   When I say creatures, I not only mean animals and plants, but we human beings.  We too are part of this beautiful life cycle that is our earth. We are not only connected to the earth and her animal, plants and natural resources, but we are connected one to another as fellow human beings.  Let us take the time and think of ways we can make the earth and all her creatures and majesty beautiful and whole.  Let us seek to repair our connections with nature and our fellow human beings, so that the earth we care for will be a much better place for our children and their children.  Let us take the time to consider that while we live, we will die.  When we die, let us take the steps so that our bodies can return once more to the earth so that our death can nurture the earth and be a beautiful final act, and not one that further harms the earth. 

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What is a Pall?

4/13/2016

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This is my grandma's coffin.  The icon is one my mother made for her. 
The lights on the side of the coffin are called bier lights

 A pall is a large cloth covering a coffin in use in a western Christian traditional funeral service.  The pall makes no one’s coffin any different from any other person’s. I have a priest friend who accompanies his parishioners to the funeral home following a death.  He wants to make sure his parish members are not purchasing anything based on emotions.  Another reason he comes along is so that he can remind them that there will be a pall in use in the church funeral so that there is no need to purchase a fancy coffin or urn.  Placing a cloth on the coffin or urn should remind a Christian of all the clothing images throughout scripture.  For the non-Christian, the use of a pall in a funeral gives a visual image of the truth that just as in life, in death we are all the same.  All of us might do best to remember this truth in our daily life.  Under all that we have clothed ourselves in, riches or poverty, we are all the same in life and death. 

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The Many Names of Green Burial

4/6/2016

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The alternative death care industry might be doing a disservice to the consumer by having many different ways for burial of a natural body in a biodegradable container, no vault.  Lets take a look at a few:
 
Green Burial:  A green burial evokes the idea that our burial will be good for the earth.  The providers of green burial wish to market their services to those who are environmentally minded.  Green burial brings with it an idea of change from and a standing against the destructive practices of conventional-embalmed burial.
 
Traditional Burial:  Traditional burial is that of a natural body in the manner before embalming became the convention for our society.  Traditional burial is green burial, but the emphasis is everything old is new again.  Traditional burial speaks to those who like the old and simple ways of doing something, but might not be as excited about being environmentally friendly as about doing something old fashioned way. You might have a combination of environmentally friendly with some of the conventional trappings of a conventional burial.  For example, the coffin might not meet the standards of a green coffin as stipulated by the Green Burial Council.
 
Conservation Burial:  Conservation Burial is a technical designation given by the Green Burial Council.  Among other criteria, conservation burial must be adjacent to already designated conservation land and the burial must also seek to restore and conserve the land.  Conservation burial is the greenest of the green burials.
 
Natural Burial:  Natural burial is green burial but might provide the consumer with some not so green aspects of burial such as a headstone not from local sources.  Natural burial tends to be for those who do not want to be embalmed, and want just something simple and perhaps easy. On the other hand, natural burial is also a designation given by the Green Burial Council.  Natural burial under this designation might best be described as simple certified green burial.  Natural burial grounds must be conservationally minded among other things. This term more than the others might be the most confusing of them all.
 
Hybrid: Hybrid burial grounds are those certified by the Green Burial Council as part of a conventional cemetery.  The cemetery has designated part of the land and offers a certified green burial following the Green Burial Council standards.
 
Certified Green Burial:  A certified green burial offers the consumer the peace of mind knowing that the Green Burial Council has vetted the provider and that the provider will adhere to certain criteria.  The consumer does not have to wonder if what they are purchasing adheres to certain standards when dealing with a certified provider.
 
Green Burial Option:  In truth, you might not come across this anywhere but in my writings.  Most corporate cemeteries that offer green burial, but do not wish to get certified for whatever reason will most likely not want to telegraph that they are not certified.  They might be likely to just state that they offer green burial.  Always ask questions of any provider you want to use and see if they measure up to your standard of service. You do not need to be buried in a certified cemetery to get a good green burial.   You do need, however to ask as many questions as you feel is necessary to get an answer. 
 
The alternative might use a lot of terms, but The Green Burial Council needs to have a way to designate different levels of certification, so that we as consumers will know what it is we are buying. As an activist and an educator, I need to keep in mind that not everyone knows the many different ways to say green burial and try to keep things succinct when speaking or writing. 


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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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