When we started the Midwest Green Burial Society (then the Chicagoland Green Burial Society), my partner and co-founded, Juliann Salinas and I decided that we needed to write our plans for our funerals. We thought that if we were going to tell people get their ducks in a row, that we needed to do the same. Both of us focused on the party following the memorial or funeral. Those who know us best would probably not be surprised by this. What I found from doing this exercise, was a freedom I did not expect, a freedom to live the life I want, in the way I want to be remembered. Juliann and my husband both know where to find my plans; her husband and I know where to find her plan. It made sense to tell more than one person because you never know who will be the rock in the face of death.
Every death is as unique as the person who has died. Many families and communities have traditions to validate, and give form to grief. I believe that whether or not you come from a traditional background, you can choose to have the memorial you want. It takes planning and the courage to speak what is in your heart. Think things through, and gathering ideas, write them down and talk to the person or persons who will be in charge of you body in death.
I am allergic to forms of all kinds. When I created The Midwest Green Burial Society's form I made it free form, so that anyone could take it and make a plan that suited him or her. My partner recently took it upon herself to remind me about her death folder. I felt so uncomfortable about this as I did not like to think about her death. On the other hand, I know what it is like to have someone close to me die and not know what to do. I am honored that she wanted me to know all about her plans and hope I don't have to use them anytime in the near future. May she have many, many years.
I encourage everyone all to start this process of planning. You can modify the plan as you go along and change your wishes at any time. In the end, you may feel a sense of relief and freedom. It is a kindness we do for our loved ones. It is a gift we give to ourselves.
Every death is as unique as the person who has died. Many families and communities have traditions to validate, and give form to grief. I believe that whether or not you come from a traditional background, you can choose to have the memorial you want. It takes planning and the courage to speak what is in your heart. Think things through, and gathering ideas, write them down and talk to the person or persons who will be in charge of you body in death.
I am allergic to forms of all kinds. When I created The Midwest Green Burial Society's form I made it free form, so that anyone could take it and make a plan that suited him or her. My partner recently took it upon herself to remind me about her death folder. I felt so uncomfortable about this as I did not like to think about her death. On the other hand, I know what it is like to have someone close to me die and not know what to do. I am honored that she wanted me to know all about her plans and hope I don't have to use them anytime in the near future. May she have many, many years.
I encourage everyone all to start this process of planning. You can modify the plan as you go along and change your wishes at any time. In the end, you may feel a sense of relief and freedom. It is a kindness we do for our loved ones. It is a gift we give to ourselves.
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