My advice to believers and nonbelievers alike is not to bring religion into the conversation when trying to console someone. I am a Christian, but my perspective on theology and the afterlife might just not agree with theirs. When someone has died, your particular religious perspective should not leave your mouth, unless your regular conversations include religion or spirituality and you agree. We all experience the finality of death even if we believe in an afterlife. The relationship we have had with the person who has died has fundamentally changed with their death. We all know they will not be showing up at a family feast – serving or sharing stories. The finality of death can make it difficult to move on in our daily life. We can console one another because we know that pain of loss. We ought not give advice or opinion unless asked. We need only extend our heart and hand to those who are in the pain of loss and grief. Funerals and Memorials should be a time of coming together, and sharing love with each other regardless of religious perspectives. Do not cause more pain to anyone because we think we are well meaning. We all ought to act in a loving way with those who are suffering the loss of a loved one.
Many of you know that I am an Orthodox Christian, but I came from a family where both grandparents on my mother’s side were atheists. As a family we shared many meals, conversations and good times together. I do not mean to imply that everything was roses and sunshine; we are, after all, still human. Not all conversations were so easy to deal with, but at the end of the day, we loved each other and that is the glue that binds. Growing up in this atmosphere where religion or lack there of, taught me many things. One thing I learned was that not everyone is going to agree with my perspective on life, but that I can love him or her. Recently, I read an article giving believers advice on how to console nonbelievers. It’s a good article. Some of what they had to say shocked me because I would never say some of these things to people ever.
My advice to believers and nonbelievers alike is not to bring religion into the conversation when trying to console someone. I am a Christian, but my perspective on theology and the afterlife might just not agree with theirs. When someone has died, your particular religious perspective should not leave your mouth, unless your regular conversations include religion or spirituality and you agree. We all experience the finality of death even if we believe in an afterlife. The relationship we have had with the person who has died has fundamentally changed with their death. We all know they will not be showing up at a family feast – serving or sharing stories. The finality of death can make it difficult to move on in our daily life. We can console one another because we know that pain of loss. We ought not give advice or opinion unless asked. We need only extend our heart and hand to those who are in the pain of loss and grief. Funerals and Memorials should be a time of coming together, and sharing love with each other regardless of religious perspectives. Do not cause more pain to anyone because we think we are well meaning. We all ought to act in a loving way with those who are suffering the loss of a loved one.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Caroline Vuyadinov
Archives
December 2018
Categories
All
|