Cemetery Sales Techniques

7/29/2015

I was once a family service counselor at a local cemetery. When I took the job, I thought I would be helping people plan for their burial. I knew planning for your death was a good thing, but I did not understand that the position was primarily a sales job. When I served a family by giving them what they needed and did not up- sell them in the face of a recent death, I was placed on probation. This event opened my eyes to the truth of the industry. What I discovered lead me to leave the industry. As ongoing amends, I write this blog. Today, I want to look sales techniques used in cemeteries.

Next Space Available

If you get a call from the cemetery in which you have a plot or two, and a family service counselor tells you that you have an opportunity to purchase a plot next to your already existing plot, know that they are using the “Next Space Available” technique. The hope is that they will feel a need to preserve family heritage. If everyone in the family has space together, it helps to preserve family information. There is some truth in this. I have fond memories of playing in cemeteries as my dad did family research. If you are interested in preserving family information, you might feel compelled to act on this “opportunity”.

Deed Delivery

When you purchase a plot, a family service counselor will want to deliver your deed in person. A family service counselor can mail the deed, but having an in person meeting benefits him or her. A meeting helps a burgeoning relationship, and the sales person will hope that you will give referrals. Referrals are the backbone of any sales person’s lifeline. A referral is gold because when you make contact with the referral, they already feel more at ease with you because a friend has associated his name with the cemetery.

Funeral Follow-up

The cemetery offers to meet with the family to give them the rules and regulations of the cemetery and answer any questions that a family might have. This meeting might focus on the grave marker if no marker is already installed. The family service counselor might want to give you a memento from the cemetery like bookmarks of your loved one’s obituary. These meetings might be helpful to the family, but they are also seen as sales opportunities. The sales person might bring up family heritage and plant the seeds for a purchase of a family plot. The family service counselor might ask about the services you have received and ask for referrals. As stated before, referrals are gold.

Work Orders

A family service counselor will walk the cemetery from time to time to check out the condition of the graves. Sometimes the grounds crew will fill out the orders and you as the sales person will get the information about the grave in question. If stonework is broken or something needs fixing on a grave, a family service counselor will contact the owner of the plot. A skilled sales person can turn this into a sales opportunity. The call might turn into a record review (see below) or maybe a next space available opportunity. Suddenly a work order turns into a sales prospect.

Record Review/Update

As the family service counselor moves through the records, you might notice that some plots do not have a completed burial plan. The record will indicate they do not have the open-and-close or vaults or grave markers. The sales person will contact the owners in for a record review and a sales opportunity.

Cemetery Survey

You might walk into a cemetery office and a family service counselor might greet you on duty and start up a little conversation. He or she might ask you to fill out a survey because the cemetery wants to improve services or the overall appearance of the park. A survey is mostly a way to get your contact information, referrals and a way to begin a sales meeting in the future.

Park Ranger

When park ranging, a family service counselor always carries a folder or something official looking so that they look like they are working. They will spot someone visiting a grave, approach him or her and ask if everything looks all right at the grave or if they need help. If they look lost the sales person will assist them in locating a grave. Those skilled in this technique can approach visitors in a cemetery and have them feel very comfortable. The goal is to get the visitor or visitors establish rapport, get contact information and maybe referrals to other family members and friends. A visit at a grave becomes a sales opportunity for family service counselors.

I was not a good sales person. I could not up-sell at the time of death. I could not insinuate myself into the lives of grieving families for long. My belief system did not allow me to continue as a sales person. I was just not cut out for the work. I know the cemetery was not thrilled with my numbers either. I find advocating and helping people make an end of life plan much more fulfilling than selling them something.

19 Comments

Jerry McCombs

8/2/2015 01:22:46 am

it is really sad that at one of your most emotional times they are trying to rip you off.....I went through this when my mom passed. Of course you do not realize it until the work is done and the bill arrives....in reality the bill arrives before you leave that day and if you do not have those thousands of dollars they will gladly have you sign a loan. I am sorry that you could not continue your work as an honest and caring service person. thank you for trying and I hope your situation now is rewarding for you.

Tony

3/13/2017 08:09:50 am

Rip you off? If you pre-plan how is that ripping you off...we are here to save you money and offer you opportunities while you are alive so your family members do not have to deal with the added stress during a time of grienvance during a death. We are looking out for your best interest, not to take advantage of you. Please get your facts straight!

Teresa

7/8/2018 07:27:44 am

you are so right!!!

Brandi link

8/14/2022 02:48:45 pm

Honestly I have been a Family Service Counselor since 2007. I reach out to my families to save money, certainly not rip them off. I have met with many families who have nothing prepared on the worst day of their lifes when their love one has passed on, the surviving members are faced with decisions, financial, grief and uncertainty. If the Family is prepared for the passing and the financial part is taking care of a head of time. The family can grieve without worrying about where the money to bury their family member is going to come from. To prepare your funeral and Cemetery expenses is a gift to the family left behind. It's not a rip off to pay ahead of time and lock a families burial plan in place to avoid inflation prices in the future the Vault and Marker companies raise their prices every year which is passed down to the Cemeteries which in turn is passed down to the customer. I would never known till i worked in this business do people realize Cemeteries pay taxes on every graveside in the Cemetery in order to provide the land for their family members who are deceased this expense is every year. It is never charged to the family but the Cemetery has to pay it. Sad Cemeteries get a bad name of their sales Counselors being crooks, when we honestly are trying to save money and give your family members peace of mind their wishes will be carried out.

Sharon Wise

11/18/2018 04:32:08 pm

It’s sad that beyondthepall viewed her opportunity to protect families from inflation and emotional overspending as a rip off. The question is why? Will we all die? Will we our familie need to have peace of mind about what is done with our body? Do they need a beautiful place to come and sit where their loved one is placed to work thru their grief? Does it need to be beautiful and well kept? Do they need to preplan this event that WIll happen and can be huge financial burden? What if you can pay for it ahead of time and lock in the price?
Who wants to be remembered as someone who planned ahead and protected their family ? It is a great service and very difficult for those in the industry. Ppl like beyondthepall don’t Help you the consumer or those serving in the most difficult time in someone’s life

Daniel link

11/17/2017 12:30:26 pm

I find your post truly honest and unbiased, however I cannot agree with it. I do sale and I do help families when it comes to this hard moment in life. I don't feel I'm ripping them off. Moreover, they are very grateful to me and the service I provided.

Teresa

7/8/2018 07:28:21 am

Of course you help families. Keep doing it

Benjamin

10/24/2018 06:54:24 pm

Everyone dies. Sadly we either plan or leave it on others. Inflation , emotional overspending and lack of knowledge takes a toll. Death services is not for everyone. Those that fail often cast a dark picture. Sadly

Amanda

12/15/2018 01:48:36 am

Both of my parents pre-paid for all expenses for their deaths. My father passed away in August of 2004, and fortunately my mother is still with us. My father was cremated, and my mother kept his ashes at home in a beautiful urn until she, along with all 5 of his kids, decided where our father would be at the most peace with our decision to spread his ashes. My mother had purchased a biodegradable urn in which we would place his ashes in at the time we made our final decision for his eternal resting place. My parents were golf o' holics.... and my father had told us for as long as I can remember that when he passed away, all he wanted was for us to throw his ashes on the golf course (a specific course, one that they were members at for over 35 years). The owners of the course knew of my fathers request and had every intention to honor his wishes, until the beginning of 2015 when they decided to sell some of the land belonging to their golf course, but because that land was the outskirts of the course and was all trees and swamps and was going to be built up into a neighbor development, my fathers ashes legally could not be spread or buried there. After a long time of consideration between my mother and us kids, this past August of 2018, we spread his ashes in a memorial pond at a cemetery and when they eventually build a "wall", we can purchase a plaque with his name. Just to spread his ashes in this pond at the cemetery was extremely pricey. We kept his ashes in the biodegradable urn and held it under the water and away it and my father went... all for a hefty profit for the cemetery. Honestly, I wasn't too happy about my father being in a dirty body of water, but ultimately it was my mothers choice. Still, it makes me sick to know that they made money off my elderly mother as their grounds men handed my oldest brother a pair of waders to borrow so he could walk in to dunk" my father in a filthy pond, and then stood nearby to make sure that they retrieved their waders in an extremely timely fashion (5 minutes). This was at Rosedale Memorial Park Cemetery in Ottawa County, MI (Grandville, Michigan).

Ela

12/7/2019 10:23:11 am

Amanda, the fee charged by the cemetery might seem hefty to you, and maybe you are inclined to only see the "profit" the cemetery makes. However, every business needs to make some profit. And Cemeteries are a business after all. If the plots, or the memorial pond, the interment fees, and all that would be free or much cheaper, not Cemetery could afford to stay open for long. Think about it, the grounds need to be kept up with, sometimes Cemeteries need contractors to open/close burial plots. The staff (office as well as ground crews) will need to be paid, maintenance upkeep, surveying of the land before cemetery sections are able to be developed and sold, electric/water bills, etc.
Nothing in life is free, and while those fees might seem high, Cemeteries just like other businesses have upkeep cost to be able to keep the doors open and the grounds clean and maintained.
There is much more to a Cemetery and the work they do besides burying people.....

Gavin

2/17/2021 05:48:38 am

It sounds like the author worked for Stonemor or some other corporate entity, and not a private cemetery. There's a big difference between the two.

Gavin

2/17/2021 05:55:55 am

Also, it's kind of ironic that you're still in the death industry. You deal with green burials, which I assure everyone are not free. I really don't appreciate how you make salespeople out to be predatory villains. It's a very hard job to do, and people like you making salespeople out to be crooks doesn't help. Most salespeople are trying to put food on the table by providing a service to the community. In the case of a cemetery, it's a service the community most definitely does need. Take the next space available "technique", as you call it. How do you think a family feels when they come in and want more spaces and there are none available? That does happen. Do you think they might have appreciated a phone call from the cemetery offering those spaces before they sold to strangers?

The fact of the matter is sales isn't a job for everyone. If you don't believe in the products or services you're selling, then of course you'll fail. That begs the question, why get into sales to begin with? Unfortunately the salespeople who fail and wash out always have a bad taste in their mouth and they like to blame it on the company. Just admit that you weren't good at your job and move on. But failing to offer additional services to a family because you judge them too expensive certainly is no service to anyone.

Black Massage Utah link

3/12/2021 09:21:03 pm

Hello matee great blog

Teanna

2/9/2022 02:39:06 pm

I guess I am confused by this. Saying people in sales are preying on people is a very assumptive statement. It is all perspective. Yo say they target people who need help finding a loved one or fixing a memorial? I see that for what it is, help. Asking someone if they want first right to be laid next to a loved one is making sure they have that right, that is important to a LOT of people. Again, it is helping someone, it can give people closure and it is nice to have families together as opposed to spread all over the place when the next generation come to see them. As far as a memorializing people, you see that as a sale but i see a way to remember a loved one. People come to my place of employment years after losing a loved one to eat lunch on that space or near the marker. They remember family with flowers and its a healthy part of healing having a place to visit. If a member was turned into soil people would literally have no place to remember them. That is not OK for some people. The reason you see these as sales and as ugly is because you are looking at it from an ugly perspective. Family counselors are indeed helping others. Financially, through time of loss, and after. If I am not mistaken, you are still selling right? Just because it's "green" doesn't make it different. I work for a family run business and we take pride in establishing relationships with people after selling them what they will eventually need at a lower cost then at need. You clearly have a bad taste after working at a bad place, but don't say everyone in the industry is bad, it's simply not true.

John Carston link

3/28/2022 05:12:44 pm

It's great that you elaborated on the importance of taking note of your schedule to prevent misunderstandings. My aunt told me that she wanted to have a custom engraved headstone for my uncle and asked me if I had any idea what is the best option to do. Thanks to this informative article, I will be sure to tell him that we can consult a trusted headstone engraving service as they can help with our ideal design.

Dotty DeArment

8/31/2022 08:07:52 am

My mother passed away just recently and she had things preplanned for us which made it easier and less stressful on all of her children. When a loved one passes your mind is all befuddled and you can make sense of things. Family Sales Counselors are not only there to make sales they are there to counsel you as well. Making sure that you are okay and they see how you are feeling. So not all Sales Counselors are like that. Having things ready for yourself or a loved one before they pass makes it easier on the next of kin. So thankful that there are counselors out there that help you instead of just selling to you.

Iris Smith link

5/5/2023 03:54:40 am

I appreciate you mentioning that the cemetery offers to meet with the family to explain the cemetery's policies and address any concerns the family may have. My granddad is no longer with us. I will purchase specially etched headstones for my grandfather.

Aurren Ryld

7/7/2023 09:07:25 am

I am currently a Sales Director and Family Service Manager at a Carriage Services location. I got into the industry shortly after my mom's passing in 2017.
I do not know how your leadership wanted you to approach and speak to people, but the techniques you listed are accurate enough and should be used to reach out to people in person.
This industry is not one to be handled lightly and over the phone if something can be done in person. The compassion, respect, and honor in this industry cannot be overlooked.
If you are not asking families about adjacent spaces, or mentioning upgrades in your park, then you are not doing your due diligence to the family, much less yourself as a salesperson.
If you buried your mother today, and several years from now go to bury your father, only to find out the spaces nearby have been sold out because no one ever asked you or mentioned getting them yourself, you'd be pissed. And you'd have every right to.
Be a good human, do all things Golden Rule, and offer all options to all people all the time. Open, honest, and transparent; plus 100% thorough. Anything less is why you shouldn't work in the industry.

BOB

9/5/2023 01:58:58 pm

Great Comments ....I currently work in sales and may be possibly exploring this as a career ..After my mother passed and dealing with all the details, it opened my eyes more...One of my previous customers mentioned this field to me...What is the earning potential of this field ? He mentioned annual bonuses + salary ..

Caroline Vuyadinov

I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity. I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people.

When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level. I became the program manager and loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community. I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences. I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial.

Cemetery Sales Techniques

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Caroline Vuyadinov

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