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Cremation Offers Flexibility for Families

2/18/2015

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The first death I experienced as a child was that of my Grandma. Grandma was cremated and my mother was granted permission to bury her as she wanted.   We had a public funeral where all of her favourite poems were read and all her friends and the whole family gathered.  All my cousins held up in one bedroom, shared stories and had a great time.  Later, my nuclear family buried her in a cremation cemetery attached to a church.  My father poured her remains into the ground and he had us each assist him in that task.  I will always remember that. Twenty years later, I was able to walk the path from the church and even though the cemetery was going through maintenance, was able to pick out Grandma’s spot even without her nametag.  Cremation allowed our family and others the flexibility we needed.   While cremation is not the greenest of the green burial options, many people choose this route for a variety of reasons.  In my other posts regarding cremation, Be a Tree and Is Cremation Green? I go into more depth about this topic and the environmental impact of cremation.  Today however, I want to talk about the flexibility of cremation for families.

 

Most states consider cremation final disposition. Indiana for example is troublesome.  It regulates who can receive cremains and requires the recording of final disposition of the cremains with the county.  Most states, however, allow the family to receive the cremains after cremation.  Some states even allow the family to transport the body to the crematorium.  Some do not. Since cremains are considered final disposition in most states, the family is decide how they wish to honor their loved one.   Let no one tell you must have an expensive urn.  Unless you are burying on cemetery land, you can choose what you wish. Cremation offers a wide variety that simple burial does not.  Cremains can be: scattered on private land, shot into space, placed in a niche, buried in a cemetery, made in to jewelry, pressed into a record, and scattered in water.  Be aware that cemeteries require a cremation vault so that if there were ever a need or desire to disinter, there would be no problem.

 

For some families, cremation is a choice that fits.  In today’s death care industry where the prices for a funeral director and cemetery keep ratcheting up, one does not wonder why cremation is chosen more and more often.  Conventional funerals and cemetery products each year increase.  Pre-paid options for both sustain the ever-growing corporations. Cremation should always be a choice for a family, but not a necessity.  When we can be free to make our own choices, then we are truly free. I still find it ironic that doing something to a body is more frugal than doing nothing or very little.  Those are the times we live in. 

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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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