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Final Conversations

3/9/2016

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My father was dying.  I lived twelve hours away in Canada when my sister called me to tell me his body was shutting down.  I told her that Dad and I were good, but we were going to get in the car and get there as soon as we could.  The thing of it was that just weeks before Dad fell the last time, he and I had a most pivotal conversation.  My cousin had just been diagnosed with cancer and he and I were talking about that and how we needed to support her. He told me he had just has a conversation with a dying friend who told him love was all there really was. We needed to love our dear ones more when they are facing a crisis. Dad and I had had our final conversation that day.  We would talk through the months after his last fall and subsequent surgeries, but never would we again have a deeply meaningful conversation about life.  Love was all there really was.
 
On a much broader scale, we need to find a way to live so that we are ok with each other because we never know when we are having our final conversation with someone.  Death can come at any moment.  We never really know what will come our way.  My father was in good health the day we had that conversation, but my cousin has lived many cancer free years.  One never knows, so perhaps we need to look at our lives a bit more closely.  Maybe we need to love those we are with more, try to mend fences that can be mended and let go of things we need not hold on to anymore.  Maybe we can live a clearer life and that might make all the difference.

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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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