How to Plan the Plan

You know you need to make a funeral plan, but you don’t know where to begin.  Here’s a simple outline to get you started:
 
Who:

• Who will be in charge of your body at the time of death?  Almost always the person who claims the body is the next of kin.  If you do not know who this will be, you need to appoint someone close to you who will take care of your body in death.  This person may need to be named in a will or other legal document.  Be sure this person will follow your wishes.
• Who will perform/lead your funeral or memorial?  If you belong to a faith/spiritual community, the leader of your community would most likely lead your funeral.  If your family does not belong to the same faith community you could consult those close to you and see who would be willing to take this on.  If you wish to have someone outside your family and friends, you could choose a secular celebrant who performs life transitional rites such as funerals. 
  
• Who needs to care for/ prepare your body in death?  Death Doula?  Funeral Director? Faith Community?
• Who might be asked to be pallbearers?
• Who might be asked to prepare the food? Catered? Potluck?
• Who might be asked to prepare the music for the funeral wake or post funeral gathering?
• Who needs to be told about your death?  Include who should be told who might be outside certain social circles.  If you have people you want told, you might want to include their contact information.  If you do not wish social media used upon your death, you need to include this as well. 

What:

• What kind of death you do you want?  By this I mean, what medically do you want done to prolong your life? Do you wish to die at home if possible?  When is it time for your family to let go? In answering these questions, your family will be better able to make choices when you no longer can.  They will also be able to feel more comfortable doing what they know you would wish. 

• What do you wish to be buried in?  Casket or shroud?  Urn?  What clothes you wish used. 
• What kind of funeral, wake, post funeral gathering or memorial? If you have specific ideas, make them clear.
• What kind of flowers?  Maybe you do not wish flowers.
• What kind of memorial donations do you wish given?
• What kind of burial?  Are you concerned about the environment?  What steps do you wish taken to be kinder to the earth? 
• What actions need to be taken to care for your body?  Embalming?  Green embalming? Natural, simple washing and anointing of the body?  Cremation?

Where:

• Where should people gather?
• Where are you to be buried?
• Where are all your documents?

When:

• How long after your death should people gather?  Some faith communities have specific rules regarding this.  Make sure people are aware.

How:

• How is this paid for?  Have you prepaid anything?  If you have made sure you have kept all the documents.  If you don’t, the place of purchase might not have had all the best documentation.  Things can happen over the years, so keep everything and make sure you know what you’ve already paid for.  If you have not prepaid, how will your people get access to the funds you have set aside for your funeral and burial?  Do you have an insurance policy?  Where is that and how does it work?

Keep in Mind:

• Even if you have planned well, you have to have communicated this with your family.
• You need to keep in mind what your loved ones are capable of doing for you.  If you want something done at your funeral, make sure it is something easily accomplished - physically, financially, and spiritually.
• Your death might be difficult for your loved ones, so be as kind as you can in making plans.