Beyond the Pall
New Post Every Wednesday
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

It's a "Gentlemen's" Agreement

5/4/2016

1 Comment

 
Picture
You might wish upon your death that your loved ones would gather and love each other through the grief of your passing, or so you hope.  Perhaps you want a simple event.  Maybe you do not want too much fuss and think it would be good for your body to return to the earth without having to go through embalming or cremation. You just do not want fuss.  You know that law allows having a natural body for a funeral and burial.  You know that science tell us that our bodies, in general are not toxic to the earth upon death.  You know all these things, so why is it so hard to obtain?  Having a simple funeral and burial is hard because the death care industry has a gentlemen’s agreement to not allow us to have a visitation with a natural body when we hire them.  For many of the States, this is fine.  If you live a state does not allow you the right to choose whom you want to care for your body at death, this becomes more complicated.
 
We have had gentlemen’s agreements before in the US.  Baseball is well known for its gentlemen’s agreement keeping African American players out of the major league until 1947 when Jackie Robinson became the first African American in the major league.  Before this, the African American community formed a separate league where great ball players played ball, but were hindered from playing in the major league.  This is not a treatise on baseball, but an example of how we have seen a group of people in the US take power, and use it against other people for whatever reasons they might have at the moment.  In baseball, there was not a written rule against black ball players playing in the major league.  The US had no law that hindered a variety of races playing ball together.  The team owners did not want it to happen and so it did not happen.  With the death care industry, funeral directors have formed such a strong lobby on the state and federal levels that they can protect their industry in ways they see fit.  In ten states, citizens are required to hire a funeral director at death.  These laws enslave the citizenry into purchasing a service from a moneymaking industry and not for the citizens, but for the protection the industry itself. 
 
If you walk into a funeral home and ask not to be embalmed, and you want a visitation, you will most likely run into problems.  They might suggest you have a direct burial, but that is not what you want at all.  I have been told that having a natural body for a visitation is illegal.  It is not!  I have been told that embalming sanitizes the body.  It does not!!  I have been told that a natural body transmits disease.  In most cases it does not and we have laws that prohibits natural bodies at funerals for these very rare cases.  Transmission of disease from a body comes when you open the body and come in contact with bodily fluids, which happens in the embalming process.  I have been told that there is a funeral home director association that issues fines to funeral homes that allow natural bodies at visitations.  No one is issuing fines for this!
 
There is hope for us in the states that are no longer free.  There is a loose network of individuals who will help families that want a simple funeral in non-free states.  We work like the resistance.  We want people to be free to choose who and how their bodies are cared for after death. When starting to find service providers in your state, first contact a home funeral guide in your area.  He or she will know how to work within the law to get you the funeral you want.  Check out the green funeral directors on the Green Burial Council’s site.  Always ask your questions.  See if their answers ring true to you.  Remember that these funeral directors are from the industry, and might still have some of the death care industry outlook.  Ask questions and listen to everyone.  Only you know whom you wish to work with in your own plan.  Make your plans and talk with your family and loved ones.  These are the people who will have to do the final work, and they should feel comfortable with your ideas and wishes.  You can have a simple event upon your death, even in states that require us to work with a funeral director.  We have to do more work and ask more questions, but it can be done.
 


1 Comment
Steve Peckham
5/10/2016 03:34:02 pm

Thanks keep m coming

Reply



Leave a Reply.



    RSS Feed

    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories

    All
    Children's Graves
    Comunicalbe Disease And Burial Practice
    Cremation
    Cremation Urns
    Cultural Conflicts And Medical World
    Death Of A Child
    Depression
    Ebola
    Family Rights
    Fear Of Death
    Fr-thomas-hopko
    Funeral Laws
    Funeral Planning
    Garden Memorial
    Green Burial
    Grieving Parents
    Heirloom Seeds
    History
    Infant Death
    Live Streaming Funerals
    Mausoleums
    Memorial
    Memorialization
    No Embalming
    Non Religious
    Orthodox
    Orthodox Christian Grave Practices
    Pre Planning
    Pre-planning
    Remembering The Dead
    Serbian Cemetery Rites
    Suicide
    Tree-memorials
    Vaults
    Zito

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly