Koliva (Zhito) - An Explanation

I remember my first Orthodox memorial service.  I had no idea what was going on.  I had been to funerals before, but never a service quite like this where people prayed for someone who had died, but there was no coffin or urn present.  I also had no idea what was in that bowl at the front of the church that looked so pretty.  My friend explained to me afterwards that this was Koliva. Orthodox prepare it for memorials and funerals and that they did so because of John 12:24 (‘Unless a wheat grain falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.’”) I nodded.  That was the explanation, but I didn’t understand.  Koliva (Zhito) is a dish made with wheat berries, sugar and a variety of other ingredients.  At seminary, folks would sign up to prepare the Koliva for the special Memorial Saturdays throughout the year. There is no one recipe for Koliva so converts like myself would try our hand at making it.  The first time I made it, friends gathered in the kitchen to offer support and suggestions.  It turned out just fine.  When I married into a Serbian family, I learned that we make Zhito.  Zhito is the same as Koliva, but Serbians tend to grind the wheat. 
 
Still, the explanation I had heard was not a satisfactory one. I had to look deeper at this.  Prayer is an act of love for the Orthodox Christian.  The Orthodox pray for those who have died because the Orthodox believe that when you die, you are alive in Christ.  The orthodox pray for everyone. So, why do the Orthodox use this wheat dish?  John 12:24 is the heart of the matter.  The Orthodox use wheat, because it is a potent symbol for Christ (Bread of Life, Bread from Heaven). To put it simply, the Orthodox make Koliva and Zhito to demonstrate two things: that the person(s) commemorated are alive in Christ and the hope of the resurrection.  The sweetness of the wheat is meant to overcome the bitterness of death.  The sweetness of the wheat is to remind the mourner not to mourn too deeply. The sweetness of the wheat is to remind partakers of the sweetness of the resurrection.  The Orthodox do not see the tomb as finality, but as hope.  Koliva, which is offered at difficult times, helps remind the Orthodox of their central belief.