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Let's Talk About End of Life

9/7/2016

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I saw my first tree with color yesterday.  I think that’s good for us in the North.  I have for the last few years seen early color in the trees.  They say that early color change does not indicate a rough winter, but I have noticed in my brief life that it does.  I began to think about the winter coming and how we hunker down and wait for the winds to die down.  Life is rough in the North in winter. We, who know snow and frigid temperatures intimately, know the isolation that winter brings to our lives.  Fall reminds us winter is coming. I love the Fall.  I love the colors and I love sweaters.  I love apple cider and the slight nip in the air.  I love it all.  I know not everyone does.  When the first tree begins to change, we know the light will start to fade.  We begin to prepare for the coming season of winter. This time of year we see many memorial festivals in different cultures and religions.  Fall might just be a good time to sit down and chat with your family about your end of life wishes. 
 
Our family has an ongoing conversation about death.  Not everyone is as comfortable with the topic of death. While the topic of death is not fun, it is an important one to cover with those closest to us.  Just this week, I accompanied my mom to the doctor.  We had to fill out forms for healthcare power of attorney and a form that allowed her to have a say in end of life choices.  We breezed through these fairly quickly, because we had taken the time before hand to talk about these decisions.  Find the time now to talk about these kinds of decisions before you are met with real decisions.  Decide what kind of care you think is appropriate for your end of life. What kind of death do you want? What kinds of things are OK to sustain life? How do you wish to live out your final days?  Do you want to die at home or the hospital? Talk to your loved ones about what life means to you and when it is no longer life.  These are tough conversations, but they are essential to have.  You do not want to have people guessing when your life comes to the close just what you thought about life and death.  People carry terrible guilt with them because they just do not know the answer to this question – When is it OK for my loved one to let go of this life?  Our loved ones need to know.  They need to feel that they have made a decision you would agree with.  We live in wonderful times.  We live longer and can prolong life, but with this come the burden of making tough choices.  Be kind to those who love you and speak to them about how you feel about the end of life. 



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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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