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Make Way for Family Lead Funerals

11/30/2016

1 Comment

 
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When you stop and think about it, going to see a funeral director to plan a funeral seems a bit odd.  We troop off to some person who does not know our loved ones and allow him or her to tell us how to have the funeral. We have enshrined the death care industry as the “go to people” when someone has died.  North American society tends to be transient and not everyone has a spiritual community anymore, so having an industry that will take care of the end of life “details” does fill a need we have.  Many of us do not spend our lives in one town or city.  Many of us have not done so for generations.  Having an industry that aids people when someone they love has died looks like a very good business to get into.   Sales drive our current conventional death care industry, and that is the problem.  I am not saying that all workers in the conventional death care workers are terrible people or that the workers in the alternative death care industry are angels.  What I am saying is the conventional industry runs on sales.   The death care industry is a 20 billion a year industry.  It did not get that way providing simple, and gentle ways to care for the dead.  It got that way through sales and high profit margins. These are not family lead funerals - these are profit led funerals.
 
People are beginning to look at the death care industry.  People are beginning to make new choices.  Family lead funerals must return as the standard in planning funerals and burial. Of course this can look different for each circumstance.  A family lead funeral is any funeral where the family leads the planning and takes into consideration the unique story of the person being remembered.  People must educate themselves on their rights as consumers.  People must begin to speak openly with their families and find service providers who can help them with details.  Read this blog. Find a death doula even if you live in a state that force consumers to hire a funeral director. Start asking questions.  I can assure you the knowledge you gain will reward you in many ways.  We need to return to family lead funerals.  We need to give the power back to consumers.  We need to stop thinking of the conventional death care workers as the authority on the subject.  We need to reclaim our families and our stories.  In the end, the families are the ones who know the person and know what is the best way to give honor to the loved one’s memory.

#funeralplanning, #homefunerals, #greenburial, #endoflifedecisions, #preplanning


1 Comment
Kath Murray link
2/15/2017 08:19:11 am

Wonderful website. Great to hear your thoughts. I will link with your site on my facebook page in the coming month. Warm regards, and look forward to connecting.

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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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