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Own Your Knowledge

10/12/2016

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The first time I walked into a funeral home armed with research and personal experience it did not go so well. I knew what I was probably walking into.  When I asked about the possibility of no embalming, the funeral director informed me that it was the law to embalm.  While I knew it not to be true, I felt very unsure of myself.  I called Josh Slocum at the Funeral Consumers Alliance to check.  He gave me sound this sound advice;  “Have them show you in writing what the law states.”  Another funeral director called me back and did a great back pedal on the idea that embalming was a law.  He did go on to tell me that embalming sanitizes the body.  Oh, boy!  I did not confront him like I might do today.  I was fresh in the world of family rights in death and I did not have my feet under me yet. I learned that day that what I need to do is to trust my own knowledge and not worry about what might be put up in my way of getting to the truth. We need to own our knowledge when dealing with the death care industry.
 
What to Keep in Mind When Working with the Death Care Industry

Sales Drive the Industry –
  • Presales are driving force in the industry as a whole.The higher commission goes to preneed sales as opposed to a sale at the time of someone’s death.Always keep this in mind when shopping around. This knowledge might help frame what is happening and how knowledge is filtered to you, the customer.Ask any question. Get answers that make sense to you.
  • Always ask to see a price list. In working with cemeteries you might have to insist. Cemeteries do not fall under the federal Funeral Law, but some states do provide laws to support people seeking information from cemeteries. It never hurts to ask. 
  • I suggest shopping around. Prices vary quite a bit from place to place. Make sure you are getting what you and your family wants. Keep looking. Make sure you feel comfortable working with whom you choose.
 
Embalming in Not Required By Law –
  • There are very few rare cases where embalming is required.  Chances are we are not going to be dying from very rare diseases.  The problem with having a natural body in death with a funeral director is that many do not allow for a visitation with a natural body.  In states that require citizens to hire a funeral director, and you wish to have a natural body funeral; you might have to shop around.
 
Your Knowledge, Your Vision –
  • Only you and your family knows what is right and fits your understanding of how you wish to memorialize your family member.  Have an idea beforehand.  Have the talk with your family so that when the family starts to work with the death care industry, they won’t be sidetracked by so many options.  Hold true to your knowledge of your rights and your vision for the remembrance of someone you love.
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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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