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Planning on the Fly

2/21/2018

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​What happens when you must plan a funeral for someone you love who has died with little to no planning for his or her funeral?  If we have done our homework, and researched what we want to happen in our time of death, we can use that information to help plan for the funeral.  If we know our rights and are aware of the sales techniques of funeral directors and family service counselors (cemetery sales persons) we will be better able to plan a funeral from scratch.  We will have a leg up on the rest of the population who may not know their rights in death.  Knowing what awaits you in a funeral home’s or cemetery’s office allows you to make informed decisions.  Knowledge gives you options even if you do not feel like you have many.  Knowledge is power especially in a situation where a provider does not expect the consumer to have much of knowledge.  This is the good news. 
 
What happens if you have all the knowledge and still the options available are not ideal?  What if time is an issue? What if you want to spend more time with your family and shopping around for a funeral is not what you want to do? What if you have to cross state lines with a body?  What if the options you had hoped for are hard to come by, are too expensive, or you cannot find a funeral director who sees your vision?   We then take a deep breath and put things into perspective.  We decide what is most important.  We choose an option we can live with, even if it is not the best.  We do our best that is all we can do.   We ought not to spend our time trying to do this funeral thing perfectly.  That might just be an impossibility anyway.  The end of life happens once in a lifetime. We must honor this time.  It will not come around again.  Planning a funeral takes a lot out of a person emotionally.  When you have to plan a funeral at the time of death, planning a funeral is even more difficult.  Be gentle with yourself and do not let the planning get in the way of connecting with those who have come to remember your loved one. 


1 Comment
Fly with Anne link
4/25/2021 10:28:02 am

Thank you for beiing you

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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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