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Public Deaths - Real Families

8/9/2017

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Tragedy struck my home community this last weekend.  A family lost two women through domestic violence.  Now this family faces the impossible task of not only facing these public and tragic deaths, but also managing to set up memorials and burials as well. This article is not about how women must find ways to be safe in their own homes and communities.  It is also not about the fact that when one of us is murdered, the police first look to those who are supposed to love and protect us most in the world.  This article also will not address the fact that just because we are born female, we are already more at risk of facing such a violent death. Today we will look at the family in the aftermath of such an event.  In cases of extreme stress due to such a violent ending, one need not imagine how hard walking through the process must be for the family.  The family must muddle through.  Adults, who themselves are dealing with this tragedy, must step forward and support the children. Everything changed for them in a moment, and now the community has a look inside this most difficult time.  For a while the community will be hyper focused on the story. For a while the community will eat up every last bit of information.  In time, however, the news accounts will fade.  People will go back to what they were doing before the story broke.  For most of the community, life will not have changed, but the family and friends of those lost will continue to grieve.  They must try to sort out what happened and make sense of such a senseless act. Take a moment and think of what kinds of hardships families like this face.  When a story of domestic violence breaks, take a moment and think of how much harder their lives have just become.  Sudden and violent deaths can occur.  Not one of us is immune to this.  Try and not let stories like this become a spectator sport.  Try to remember real people have died and real lives are forever changed.  
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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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