So, How Much is That Funeral?

I remember when my father died.  He had a plan and spoke to a fellow priest and me about his plan the January before his death. When he told me, I remember thinking that I did not need this information for twenty years and forgot much about what he said when the time came.  Several other things went wrong in the end that made it impossible for us to exactly follow his plan.  In the first place, he did not write the plan down.  He had a plan, but not any of it was concrete. We were caught flatfooted and had very little idea of what to do.  We did what most people do; we followed advice from loved ones and those in the industry to help us through the process.  We did not shop around, and even if we did, I know we did not know our rights.  I know we were not in a frame of mind to decide from among a variety of vendors.  I think our story is rather typical of most people.  We were caught in grief, and did what seemed the easiest thing to do.  The situation we found ourselves in was the reason the Funeral Rule was passed in the first place.  The Funeral Rule was created to protect consumers from making emotional decisions or decisions without having all the facts in planning a funeral. It does not, however, cover cemeteries.

Since working in and leaving the industry, I have done my fair share of funeral shopping.  I must say that I enjoy it.  I love finding out who gives good service and who is lacking.  According to the Funeral Rule, consumers are supposed to be given prices over the phone.  One time, while looking around for funeral information, I made an email inquiry of a funeral home that was recommended by a national funeral group.  They would not respond by email and wanted me to either call or come in and have a chat.  I found that off-putting.  I was looking for information for personal and professional use, and that just made me not want to work with them. Back in 1984 when the Funeral Rule was passed, most people either went to the place of business or called the business to ask about the services they provided.  We did not have the Internet.  The Internet has so changed the way we live our lives. I know it’s wishful thinking, but I think the Funeral Rule should be updated to reflect the way business is done in the first part of the Twenty-First Century and require funeral directors to answer inquiries by email. Some funeral homes do and some do not.  Baring a change to the Funeral Rule, I am hoping that the market place will put pressure in funeral providers to change the way they do business.   Maybe then, more the industry will move toward a more modern approach to business, and offer full disclosure through electronic means.  In the meantime, they are not required to give information through email or provide a full GPL (general price list) on their webpages.

As with many things, change in the death care industry will happen when people face the unpleasant nature of death.  We need to start acting like everyone does die, then maybe the industry can change and there will be more openness about price and services.  Everywhere, people are afraid to talk about death. It’s still the number one killer of conversations I know of.  Still, I write on.  As stated above, Cemeteries are not under the Funeral Rule.  They do not need to give you a pricelist when you walk in.  They do not need to show you all the options and do not need to disclose the cheaper options they might offer. We have a long way to go when it comes to consumer’s rights when making final plans.  The only idea I can offer when dealing with the cemetery is to be direct with the family service counselor about what you want and about price point.  If you do not feel comfortable with any service provider, leave the office.  You should not work with people you do not feel comfortable with.  Only you know what is right for you and your family.