Beyond the Pall
New Post Every Wednesday
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

Still Work to Do

3/15/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
Last week I was sharing with someone about my dog’s death and how I demanded the body so I could bury him in our garden.  This man’s eyes got very big and he looked uncomfortable.  I said to him, “What do you think might happen?”  He said, “I don’t know!” I did not press the topic further because I have learned that people will ask when they are ready to know, and that death is a tough topic for many people.  I am always surprised by people’s distressed reaction to the simple things surrounding death care. For that reason, an industry has grown up to assist people with death and the many details that come along with dealing with it.
 
I find the conventional death care industry a strange place.  The industry grew up around the urbanization of North America.  People left the farms and moved to the cities.  Their homes became smaller so they could not hold their wakes. They also did not have much in the way of land to bury their loved ones.  The industry moved in to fill the need. I find the notion of a funeral director a curious one.  I get that people need assistance when their loved one dies.   There are many details that must be attended to at the time of death. When someone we love dies, many of us go to a funeral director that eier comes recommended to us or to one that our family has used before.  Most of us do not preshop and find a director who will suit our needs.  Often the person we hand over the details of our loved ones death is someone we do not know well.
 
What is so lacking in much of the North American view on death care is community.  Few pastors go with the family to a funeral director or even hold their own meeting to have a conversation about what might be expected in a particular faith community.  Many North Americans are not connected to a spiritual community or service community at all and are left to figure things out on their own.  I don’t know what solution to offer. We live in a fractured society.  Many people feel disenfranchised so much in their everyday life.   Many have no idea what options they do have at the time of death. The alternative death care industry has a lot of work to do.  We must keep on educating the public when we can and as often as we can.


1 Comment
Scott link
3/22/2017 04:28:14 am

Excellent blog. You are spot on in your comments. As a Certified Grief Counselor for many years, I can assure you that the lack of participation in a loved one's funeral results in an unhealthy grief process. We have a long way to go to return the subject of death and it's care back to the families.

Reply



Leave a Reply.



    RSS Feed

    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories

    All
    Children's Graves
    Comunicalbe Disease And Burial Practice
    Cremation
    Cremation Urns
    Cultural Conflicts And Medical World
    Death Of A Child
    Depression
    Ebola
    Family Rights
    Fear Of Death
    Fr-thomas-hopko
    Funeral Laws
    Funeral Planning
    Garden Memorial
    Green Burial
    Grieving Parents
    Heirloom Seeds
    History
    Infant Death
    Live Streaming Funerals
    Mausoleums
    Memorial
    Memorialization
    No Embalming
    Non Religious
    Orthodox
    Orthodox Christian Grave Practices
    Pre Planning
    Pre-planning
    Remembering The Dead
    Serbian Cemetery Rites
    Suicide
    Tree-memorials
    Vaults
    Zito

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly