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Sympathy for the Funeral Director

10/21/2015

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From time to time I visit funeral homes to see what kinds of local resources we have at hand. I enjoy these interviews.  I like to see what’s going on and to see how honest and compliant funeral homes are with the funeral rule.  I know that the funeral director has a rough road.  He or she must meet with clients on what might be one of the worst days of their lives.  They have to comply with the law.   They have to deal with the body.  Let’s face it; many of us do not want to do that.  They also must make a living while doing this. 
 
Recently, I went to a Dignity Funeral Home.  They gave me a nice notebook and pen.  The funeral director was very personable and I liked him.  He was the one that told me that the state would fine him if he had a wake with a natural body.  The thought of having a wake without embalming truly seemed to upset him, but he did say that families could have the wake and care for the body before a funeral director was called, providing they did not wait too long.  He even told me that the body would not be a source of disease. I find it so odd that on one hand he would tell me about the “state fines” and on the other hand would encourage a home funeral type situation.  Funeral directors must feel the pull of the changing market and must know the honest truth about natural bodies.  This one surely did.
 
Towards the end of the interview, the funeral director tells me he will price match with other funeral homes, providing I have a GPL that proves the price.  The market is changing so quickly.  People either no longer can afford or desire a big funeral. Prices keep going up for funeral products and services while at the same time people want cremation from their conventional funeral director.  Cremation is on the rise and “traditional” funerals are no longer in vogue anymore.  The fact that he would price match tells me that he is worried about his business. Because he works for a corporation, he cannot make personal decisions on how the services will be delivered in the funeral home. He cannot make a choice for a wake with a natural body because this might go against corporate policy.  He has products and services to sell.  He has a job to keep, but he also knows the truth of things.  It must make doing his job that much more difficult.   He must balance that all and see clients who want something different go out the door.  I suspect that the more that happens, the more policies can change.  The more policies change, the better served the families are, and that is what the industry always says it is about. 

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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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