We all must face death. We face the death of someone we love or our own impending death. We all at one time or another look will look squarely at death. Often we face the death of a loved one with conflicting emotions. We do not want them to leave our lives. We also know they suffer great pain or the situation they are in goes far beyond reasonable medical interventions. Our minds then will likely turn to the dearest memories we have shared with our loved one. These memories cause us joy and at the same time the deepest grief, knowing that we will not have time to make more memories with them. We face their death, as we must. Sometimes because of our own emotional pain, we find it almost impossible to sit and love them through the process of death. We then put aside the uncomfortable feelings and sit with them. We place our egos on hold. Perhaps we cannot spend every waking hour with them, but we can give them our time and our love as they leave this life.
When facing our own death, perhaps it looks a bit different. Most of us do not look at our own death with an overabundance of joy in our heart. Many of us might look on facing our own death as a duty to those we love. We might think that preparing for our own death is an act of love. We read. We talk to people close to us about death and how we view certain kinds of medical interventions. We might make amends for past wrongs. We might even shop around at local death care options. Some of us might have grand ideas about how we want our funerals to look. We might have some kind of fun idea included in the event. Many people who I have spoken with, however, want something simple. As I know from working in the death care industry, simplicity is often hard to come by.
In either facing the death of someone you love or in facing your own death, it might be the best policy to try to keep your ego out of the process. Think what about what might work best for the other. I know that is easier said than done. I know the pain of losing dear ones, and sometimes that kind of pain makes you lose your mind a bit. I have found, however, precious treasure sitting with someone I love when they are near death, knowing that the one thing needed in that situation is love. Love alone makes it possible to stand that kind of pain. I think we would do well to remember that the connection we have with one another binds us together and through time in memories and stories. If we can use this knowledge when we plan our own death, and funeral, we can make better choices. By all means, speak frankly with members of your family and loved ones about death and what you would like in terms of a memorial service, burial etc. Remind them how important it is for them to be together in love, and not worry about the small things like the colour of the shroud or whether they can afford that jazz quartet. The important thing is to be together for each other.
When facing our own death, perhaps it looks a bit different. Most of us do not look at our own death with an overabundance of joy in our heart. Many of us might look on facing our own death as a duty to those we love. We might think that preparing for our own death is an act of love. We read. We talk to people close to us about death and how we view certain kinds of medical interventions. We might make amends for past wrongs. We might even shop around at local death care options. Some of us might have grand ideas about how we want our funerals to look. We might have some kind of fun idea included in the event. Many people who I have spoken with, however, want something simple. As I know from working in the death care industry, simplicity is often hard to come by.
In either facing the death of someone you love or in facing your own death, it might be the best policy to try to keep your ego out of the process. Think what about what might work best for the other. I know that is easier said than done. I know the pain of losing dear ones, and sometimes that kind of pain makes you lose your mind a bit. I have found, however, precious treasure sitting with someone I love when they are near death, knowing that the one thing needed in that situation is love. Love alone makes it possible to stand that kind of pain. I think we would do well to remember that the connection we have with one another binds us together and through time in memories and stories. If we can use this knowledge when we plan our own death, and funeral, we can make better choices. By all means, speak frankly with members of your family and loved ones about death and what you would like in terms of a memorial service, burial etc. Remind them how important it is for them to be together in love, and not worry about the small things like the colour of the shroud or whether they can afford that jazz quartet. The important thing is to be together for each other.
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