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Take Your Time

2/22/2017

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I love speaking with people who are interested in knowing more about their rights and green burial.  Last week I received such a call from a woman who needed information quickly.  They had intended to prepare for their loved one’s death, but they did not have the time they had hoped for.  I gave her the local information I had, but the one thing I most wanted the person to know was to take whatever time the family needed to make the decisions.  Even when death comes suddenly, we can take some time to figure out what needs to happen for the person’s final details.  Final details can overwhelm easily.  The industry takes the position of the authority.  They have been trained this way. The fact of the matter is they are not.  The family remains the true authority in terms of planning your loved one’s memorial.   
 
Take a breath before diving into the myriad of details that must be decided upon.  If you have already engaged a funeral home, a person’s body can be refrigerated for weeks if not almost indefinitely.  You do not need to make decisions within two days or less.  Pressure to make quick decision comes because the industry would like to move the process along.  They want you to have a sense of urgency when making your decisions.   Do not let the industry bully your family into making decisions you just don’t want to make.  Do not let them tell you the family needs to accept certain details because it is part of a package.  Sometimes religious or spiritual reasons make it necessary for moving at a faster pace.  If this is the case, then I hope the community already knows how to handle these decisions. If you want to wait for another family member to arrive to help you with the process, take the time and wait.  This time should be for the family and not a time for allowing the death care industry tell you what you need to do or for them to hand you package deals when you might not want the package.  If you need to take a break and talk before signing any contract for service, take the time.  Death care should be about making the family comfortable with the choices they must make and not about rushing.  Breathe, take your time and then decide.  Few of us find making final decisions about our loved one an easy process.  Many of us would rather just get on with the process, but sometimes we need to take a moment and think about what is best to make a fitting memorial for our loved one.
#preplanningfunerals, #howtoshopforfunerals, #deathcareindustry


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    Caroline Vuyadinov


    I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity.  I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people. 

    When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level.  I became the program manager and  loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community.  I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

    Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak  to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences.  I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial. 

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